I will never forget the words spoken to me from a former supervisor, when I shared with her my excitement about going to graduate school. "Wow, I don't see the marketability of that degree." I could have taken offense to her statement and lashed out, or I could have taken her advice and stayed in that dead end job, never fully realizing my potential. However, I decided to do neither, and simply reminded her "Oh, well the section chief has the same degree, and she's doing quite well, so I think its going to work out for me." My former supervisor wrinkled her nose, and hoisted her heavyset footsteps in the opposite direction of me. It was apparent that my words cut deep; I was not going to be intimidated or made to feel insignificant because of my gender or the color of my skin. I understood my worth, and my contribution to society. My career choice was not to become the next biochemical engineer or brain surgeon, but I chose to become the next public administrator that understood public service, and the importance of advocating for the disenfranchised and underserved.
Sometimes there a people in life that will try to minimize your contribution to society. These types of people are like huge boulders; larger than life, but have been eroded by the winds of time. They are immovable, and set in their ways. They will try to block your path to success by dismissing your impact on the world. They love to brag about their accomplishments because they are hollow and lack self-esteem; and they like to make others feel insignificant because it feeds their need to feel superior. Yes, big boulders have the allure of size. They make big splashes and ripples in the sea of life. But I learned something in physics long ago. Small objects when dropped into liquids like water disturb the surrounding mass, displacing the liquid in the form of ripples as well. Meaning, a small pebble tossed into a vast ocean will have a small splash, but the ripples from its impact can travel quite some distance. So just because you may feel your contribution to the world is small, doesn't mean it is insignificant, or less impactful. Pebbles create ripples too. Never let a big boulder convince you otherwise. What are your thoughts? Please comment and share. "You better tell me what's wrong with you, or this engagement is off, and we are not getting married." My fiancé said in a raspy, wet voice, "I've been coughing all day, and it is hard for me to breathe. I would have come to see you earlier, but, I am too weak to get out of bed. I am sorry." I could not fathom that he had the audacious gall to become sick, when I needed him the most. My rock, my heartbeat, my mother had just lost her battle to breast cancer, and closed her eyes for the last time, and he couldn't muster up enough strength to see about me. "Fine, we are going to the hospital tomorrow, and you better be sick! If not, this relationship is over, and the marriage is off," I said with a voice full of self-pity. The next day, my fiancé was omitted into the critical care unit with pneumonia in both lungs; he was functioning on 25 percent of his lung capacity; knocking at death's door himself. This news infuriated me even the more, driving me further into a pit of resentment, as I watched his EKG machine spit out his heart rate and periodically his blood pressure. How could he do this to me? Doesn't he know that I need him? But now, he needs me to comfort him, while my heart is shattering like a priceless vase that has haphazardly rolled off the table.
On the seventh day, I left his side to attend my mother's memorial service in Southern California. Prior to leaving for the service, I made a brief stop by my local church to receive prayer for my journey back to Los Angeles. I was greeted at the door by a wonderful woman who had just converted to Christianity. Her life story was one filled with trauma, pain and agony. She had struggled for years with substance abuse issues, which had led her down a path of broken relationships, limited career opportunities, and most recently, homelessness. The years of abuse had taken its toll on her physical health as well, but when she saw me enter the doors of the church, she greeted me with a wonderful smile, and a sincere hug. “Mimi, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother, and to hear about your fiancé. I have something for you; a little token to cheer you up. I will be praying for you.” She proceeded to reach into her inexpensive bag, and pulled out a small, pink elephant. “Thank you so much for this token of love. I will never forget it.” Ten years later, I still cherish that pink elephant; it is more precious to me than all my possessions. It reminds me to remain willing to help others, even when I am empty. At the time this wonderful woman gave me this token of love, she was living in a women’s homeless shelter. Life had been cruel to her, but she still found a way to look beyond her pain to be concerned about someone else. She did not wallow in self-pity, but saw her new life in Christ as an opportunity to move forward with new hope for a bright future. That moment made me take a good look in the mirror. Was I being selfish for grieving? Absolutely not. But when I began to put my grief on a pedestal, not caring about the welfare of others, including my fiancé, that’s when I had a problem. When I decided to wallow in self-pity, like a pig in a mud pin, that’s when I moved into a realm which tarnishes the soul and sullies the mind. The pink elephant reminds me to be humble; to be selfless, even when navigating the bumps and bruises of life. It reminds me not to hold people to unnecessary standards that can only be fulfilled by God. Today, the pink elephant sits on my desk at work, nestled next to a picture of my adoring husband, as a constant reminder to give my best, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable. So how do we avoid the pit of self-pity? It’s simple. Identify your pink elephant. The pink elephant helps put things into perspective, and shows us that there are others in our world experiencing injustices besides us. The pink elephant is the personification of perseverance: regardless what the day may bring, it is there to bring comfort to others in the midst of personal turmoil, and hope in a hopeless situation. It is a symbol of selflessness: it acknowledges that there is an immediate personal need, but pushes past personal preference to serve another. The pink elephant is that part of the human soul, that part of you, which when you dig deep within yourself, you pull out a gift that touches the heart, and lifts the spirit. Identify your personal pink elephant, and give this inconvenient gift to someone who needs it the most today. Please share, and comment. Thank you. I am intrigued and captivated by the game and sport of golf. I love the smell of the green, the sound of my seven-iron making contact with my neon yellow golf ball, the feeling of satisfaction when finally making par. I'm not signing up for PGA Tour any time soon, but I can hold my own, once you take into account my handicap. The golf handicap index score is a numerical rating which represents a player's capabilities to complete a course, taking a certain number of strokes. A high handicap index score indicates that a golfer will take more strokes to complete a course comparatively to a golfer with a lower index score. Thus, the lower the score, the better and more skilled the player. The golfer with the higher index score, may not have the skillset to avoid sand traps, or the infamous course bond, but if the golfer remains persistent, working within the confines of his/her skillset, that golfer will still finish the course, just like everyone else.
Life, metaphorically speaking, can be like a golf course. There are unexpected slopes that may temporarily deter you away from your goals. Sometimes we can get stuck in a sand trap, and it takes stroke after stroke to set ourselves free from its grip. Sometimes, we end up falling into a pond, and just have to pull out another plan, and start over. Our limitations, our own abilities may seem confining, and completing this course of life may seem impossible. Although we may be confined by our life skills, education, or exposure to opportunities, we are still capable of completing our course. The great apostle of the Christian faith, the Apostle Paul, wrote in one of his letters to his beloved apprentice Timothy, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith..." (2 Timothy 4:7). This sounds like words from a man who had a near perfect life, who's reminiscing over his many accomplishments. However this could be the farthest thing from the truth. The great apostle Paul, who wrote nearly 2/3 of the New Testament of the Holy Bible, was once a major persecutor of the early Christian church. He had to change his name from Saul of Tarsus to Paul because when he was converted to Christianity, no one trusted him, due to his notorious reputation of killing Christians. After his conversion, Paul spent most of his days in and out of prison for spreading the gospel message of Christ across the Roman Empire. The words even recorded above were written while Paul was in custody awaiting his execution in Rome. Paul was physically confined, but even then, it did not deter him from completing his course, which was to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to non-Jewish people. Paul equates his journey to a fight, in which he gave his all. He stayed true to his course, regardless of confinement, and relied upon his faith in God to fuel his passion to complete his assignment. Likewise, if we are desiring to complete our course that is set before us, we have to fight a good fight. A good fighter works within their ability to deliver calculated blows to take down their opponent. We must be calculated in our approach to situations in our lives, capitalizing upon our strengths, while recognizing our limitations. We must be determined to finish our course, and not be concerned about the courses of others. We must hold onto faith through positive affirmations about where we want to be, and who we want to become. Confinement is inevitable, but completion is optional. Challenge yourself to choose completion in the midst of confinement. Don't quit, the 18th hole is just a few yards ahead. Love to hear from you. Please comment. The 21st century is obsessed with the notion of purpose, and rightfully so. Purpose is critical for the human mind, body, and soul. It can be likened to gasoline for a vehicle; without it, we cannot go anywhere. Like gasoline, purpose comes in a variety of degrees to match our desired performance. For example, most luxury and sport cars require a higher octane fuel to maximize the engine's performance. Unleaded gasoline, placed into a high performance vehicle will cause damage to the engine. Although the tank may be full, the engine will not perform to its optimal level. Purpose has the same effect on the human mind. If we place the inappropriate level of purpose into the make and model of our dreams, it can lead to a life of disappointment, distress, and disaster. So understanding purpose is a good thing. But sometimes, in life it may feel like purpose is unattainable. How do I get to my purpose? What road should I take? What should I expect along the way? The Bible provides insight to the questions aforementioned, in its account of Jesus Christ, and His fulfillment of His ultimate purpose: to reconcile humanity back to God. Jesus successfully completed His purpose, but made three stops along the way: Gethsemane, Golgotha, and the grave.
Gethsemane was a place not too far from the Mount of Olives, in which Jesus and his disciples often frequented for restoration. However, hours before Jesus is to fulfill His purpose, He comes to the garden of Gethsemane, and the place of restoration takes on its original function as a place of pressing. Gethsemane was the place where olives were crushed to create precious olive oil. Olive oil was a major staple of the region during biblical times, and was also used as ointment for medicinal purposes. Gethsemane is the place in which pressure is applied to extract the valuable from the invaluable; the olive oil from the olive. Jesus finds Himself in Gethsemane praying and asking God to take away the agonizing pain that was soon to come that was related to His purpose (St. Matthew 26:39). Yet, in the same breath, Jesus makes a conscious decision to discard the invaluable self-preservation of his temporary comfort, for the valuable will of God to redeem mankind. Likewise, on our journey to fulfilling our purpose, we have to make the conscious decision to choose what is valuable and discard the invaluable; we must center our mindset on fulfilling our goal, while being fully aware that the impending steps will be uncomfortable, and downright agonizing. The next stop on the road to fulfilling purpose is Golgotha. Golgotha, which means "the place of the skull," is the place in which the Roman regime crucified enemies and heinous criminals. It was the place of extreme sorrow and agony, in which six-inch nails were driven into the wrist and ankle bones of an individual to append them to a splintered-filled wooden cross. After being affixed to the cross, the individuals were erected for all the world to see what happens to those who are enemies of Rome. Those affixed to the cross would endure hours of pain and agony, only to succumb to death by suffocation when they could no longer hold their bodies in an upright position to gasp for air to fill their collapsing lungs. Golgotha is a place of great pain for Jesus, but is the place in which His true purpose is revealed. It is a place of dying; a place where letting go is so painful, yet needful to ultimately end the suffering. On our road to purpose we will need to stop by our own personal Golgotha, and let those things that are so painful in our lives (e.g. abuse, neglect, abandonment, rejection, anger, regret) die, so we can end our suffering, and reveal our true purpose. The last stop on the road to purpose is the grave. After Jesus' death, a follower and religious leader named Joseph of Arimathaea compels the Roman leader of the Jerusalem area, Pilate, to allow him to remove Jesus' body from the cross, and properly bury Him (St. Luke 23: 51-56). Pilate agrees, and Joseph, Mary the mother of Jesus, and other women take down Jesus' body, anoint it with ceremonial burial spices, wrap it in white linen, and lay His body in a tomb. At this point, it appears that the story is over. Jesus' road to purpose takes him to the grave, a place of finality. However, this is not the case. The grave is not a place of finality, but a place of dormancy. While Jesus' earthly body laid dormant in the grave, His spirit was actively reclaiming the power over things that tormented mankind for centuries -death, the grave, and hell. Three days later, the dormant body of Christ springs back to life, sealing His ultimate purpose of restoring mankind back to God. The grave is not the end, but the beginning. Our final stop on the road to purpose will be the grave. Here, our dreams are not dead, but are resting dormant as we rightfully reclaim the keys to things that have controlled us. It is here at the grave, where we prepare for the next step in our destination, and patiently await for our purpose to spring forth with new vigor. It is not the end, but the beginning. All those who thought your purpose was dead, will be the first to witness its glorious resurrection! The three G's on the road to purpose! I would love to hear your thoughts. Dreams and ambitions are just as essential to life as oxygen is to the human body for survival. It was a dream that prompted Henry Ford to create a more affordable way to create automobiles. It was a dream that caused the Wright Brothers to spend countless hours testing models until they experienced flight. It was a dream that brought about the U.S. Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's which eventually led to the creation of the Bill of Rights. It is important to dream, because dreams are inspirational thoughts mixed with hope. But how do we make our dreams come to fruition? The Holy Bible provides guidance for dreamers through the story of Joseph (Genesis 37, 39-45).
Joseph was a young man that rose from obscurity, from the nomadic tents of his upbringing, to become second in command to Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. A modern day comparison of Joseph’s ancient role in the Egyptian kingdom would be equivalent to the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of a Fortune 500 Company. At the age of 30 years old (Genesis 41:46), Joseph had prominence, prosperity, and power in the largest economy during his time. How did he do it? Well, it all started with a detour to Dothan. Joseph was the beloved youngest son of his father Jacob (also known as Israel). His father favored him above all of his other sons; so much that at the age of seventeen he received from his father a very expensive coat of many colors. This token of favor from his father, became the focal point of his brothers' envy. Soon their envy turned into blatant hatred. Joseph in his immaturity, did not detect the extent of his brothers' hatred, and began to confide in them about the metaphoric-filled dreams that he had while sleeping; that one day his brothers and his parents would bow to him in reverence (Genesis 37: 6-11). Now these dreams infuriated his brothers even further, causing their hatred to take a bitter place in their hearts to the point that they desired to kill him. The following day Joseph willingly accepts an errand given to him by his father to check on his brothers, to see if they were indeed fulfilling their duties as shepherds in a neighboring town called Shechem. Upon arrival to Shechem, Joseph is greeted by a man, who directs him to Dothan to find his brothers. While on the road to Dothan, his brothers see him from afar, and begin to plot on how to kill him. Instead, the eldest brother, Reuben, convinces the others not to kill him, but to throw Joseph into an empty well. As soon as Joseph arrives, they strip him of his coat of many colors, and throw him into the empty well. Joseph sits in darkness for hours, then finally a rope is lowered down to retrieve him from the pit. To his surprise, he is not greeted by his brothers, but his new slave owners. His brothers sold him to passing merchants for 20 pieces of silver, and left him alone with nothing but his dreams. The Detour to Dothan experience for Joseph was indeed painful, humbling, and down right wrong, but was needful for the development of his character and integrity. Joseph went into Dothan a seventeen year old, spoiled dreamer, but when he emerged, he was mentally prepared for the next transformational steps in his life that would lead him to the royal palace of Egypt. Dothan revealed to Joseph that the people who he loved the most, would be the very ones that would attempt to kill his dreams. He learned in Dothan that the coat of many colors from his father didn't define him; that although he was stripped of it, he was still Joseph. Further, although he was tossed into a pit, it would be the option of pit that would keep him and his dream alive! Likewise, all real dreamers, will take a detour to Dothan to undergo an internal transformation process prior to the realization of their dreams. You will experience the betrayal of those closest to you; you will be stripped of all superficiality, of labels that others have used to identify you, but you will still hold on to the essence of who you are. You will be hidden in the pit, until everyone around you who tried to kill your dream vanishes into thin air. So what should we do while we are in the dry well of Dothan? That's simple, keep looking up, because that's the only way out of Dothan for a dreamer: up! Please comment, I would love to hear your thoughts. "Life can be scary, but remember baby, don't be afraid of anything walking on two feet." My mother had a way of taking words, mixing them with her Texan accent, and making a mind masterpiece. My mom understood the power of fear through her own personal battles with self-esteem, poverty, sickness, and self-acceptance. She had witnessed its paralyzing grip it has on reality; its ability to damage and destroy dreams; its ability to keep you stagnant and underdeveloped. Raising four children alone in a rough Los Angeles neighborhood, would cause anyone to become faint of heart, and succumb to fear. However, my mom uttered these words of inspiration to instill in me a sense of hope and belonging. Hope, that opportunities will be presented regardless of current circumstances; and belonging that I am qualified just like the next person with two feet to turn that opportunity into a tangible level of success in life.
This prompts me to ask the question. If fear is the impetus to inequality, what can we do to counteract its negative impact on our lives? The answer is courage. Now courage, is not the absence of fear; however it is the decision to boldly look at that two-foot monster square in the eyes, declaring I am equal; I am capable, I deserve this opportunity. Your two-foot monster maybe changing careers, committing to a long-term relationship, or even accepting yourself as yourself. Whatever it may be, takes some advice from my mom, "don't be afraid..." but have courage. Decide you are able, you are worthy, you are equal. Would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment. I am so glad that you visited my blog spot: Application to Life. We are going to take a word journey together; shaping our lives path with practical applications of inspirational truths! This weekly journey will make us stronger, and who knows, we may end up overlooking the Caribbean Sea together!
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AuthorAkon M. Walker, MPA, motivates readers to transform words of inspiration into life application. Archives
June 2019
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